Sorry, I just need to rant. If you're looking for something substantial, amusing or witty, please come back another day.
Seriously, why post that you offer portabello mushrooms when CLEARLY those are just large sliced mushrooms - FROM A CAN!! I would have been okay with that if you didn't make me wait 15 minutes just to get my salad. Why take the orders of those before me then tell me I need to line up somewhere else just because I want a salad? Can't you still take my order instead of making me wait 10 more minutes? Especially when your store doesn't have sufficient signage??
I would only come back to do one or both of the following:
1. Jump over the counter and start throwing at you your non-portabello mushrooms.
2. Buy some 50%-off packaged portabellos from No Frills, yell "This is what portabello mushrooms are really like!!! Change that listing on your menu!!!!" and throw some stale mouldy mushrooms at you.
Next bunch of rants:
1. Am I that beneath you that you can't make eye contact when you make your order or hand me your form of payment? If you were all that great, you'd have a personal assistant make your personalized drink. Apparently you don't so suck it up and make nice while you're in the store. It's just courtesy, that's all.
2. I will deal with your accent but please don't make it seem like I can understand every word you say. You have an accent and speak in broken English. That means you don't speak English well. If I misunderstand you, it's most likely your fault. Don't frown at me like I'm a mind reader.
3. I'm fine with taking $2.68 in change but please, pretty please, help me out by keeping them sectioned - quarters, nickels, etc. - just as when you were counting them. I wasn't counting with you so by pushing a miscellaneous pile at me, you have made my job more frustrating and everyone's wait time, including yours, that much longer.
4. You just waited 2 minutes in our regularly long line. I know you were having a nice convo with your friend but hemming and hawing and laughing it up when you finally get to the cash just isn't cool with, literally, 15 people behind you.
5. Yes, you just ordered your drink but other people ordered ahead of you. That means they get theirs first. We call that fair. Sorry if that doesn't happen elsewhere.
6. You didn't ask for it black, therefore I didn't pour it black. Again, don't frown at me like I'm a mind reader.
If anyone actually got to reading this far, please don't take this as a gauge of my actual experience at work. There are plenty of wonderful customers who make my day - Howard, Ronan, Sarah, Diedre, Tara, Teresa, Lisa, Mike, Nathan, and so many more - and who I will hopefully get around to writing about. But nothing drives someone to write like anger does and today, the non-portabello mushroom situation was the "camel that broke the straw's back" (cuz that's how tired and frustrated I was today).